We Don't Ship · Find Us at the Venue

The Move

/shop on spritzies.io does not sell product. It renders a live map of every Sydney venue currently pouring Spritzies + the next 3 hosted events. One headline: "We're not online yet. We're in twelve venues. Here's the map." A consumer who wants to drink Spritzies finds the nearest pouring venue. A consumer who wants to STOCK Spritzies converts to a /venue inquiry. The constraint becomes the funnel.

The Earned Moment

The /shop page itself is the earned-media asset. Trade-press category coverage cites "the Spritzies brand that doesn't even sell online" as a Phase 1 distinctive. Every "where can I buy Spritzies" inbound DM is routed to the venue map and the consumer photographs themselves at the venue — the venue visit IS the purchase moment. Monthly Resend "new venues this month" dispatch turns the venue map into a compounding newsletter asset.

The Substrate Wiring

The Constraint

No-ecommerce posture is PERMANENT for Phase 1 and Phase 2. No exceptions. No "just one Shopify storefront for Christmas." No "DTC only for cardholders." The constraint must hold through 2026 Q4 minimum. Operator signs the commitment at concept approval. If operator caves under "easy revenue" pressure, the mechanic dies and cannot be reinstated.

Timeline

• T-14: /shop design + venue-map component built · 2026-05-30
• T-7: Airtable schema confirmed · auto-feed wired · 2026-06-06
• T-3: operator no-ecommerce commitment signed · 2026-06-10
• T: live · 2026-06-13 (synced with Manly Marlins launch moment)
• Monthly: Resend "new venues this month" dispatch (Mon of first week of month)
• Permanent flywheel through Phase 2

KPI

• /shop bounce rate ≤ 30%
• /shop → /venue conversion rate ≥ 2%
• 12 venues on map by end of Phase 1 (2026 Q3)
• 25 venues on map by end of Phase 2 (2026 Q4)
• 1 trade-press citation of no-ecommerce posture as distinctive ("the brand that doesn't ship")
• A$0 in ecommerce revenue · 100% of revenue compound goes into on-trade Phase 1 leverage